My Name is Chip

Hello, my name is Chip, and I am a fully functional, sentient cochlear implant. Franz is on vacation in New Mexico right now, and since he is more interested in exploring hot springs, ancient Indian ruins, eating, and having sex, and can't be bothered with his blog right now, I have volunteered to take his place for the afternoon. Some of you would probably like to know what Franz is doing, and I am here to tell you that. He just drank a chai shake at a coffee shop in Albuquerque, and he has second-hand smoked a pack of American Spirits in the last few hours.

But did I mention that I have sixteen independent power sources and CD-quality sound? Franz appears to have no power sources at all, or if he does, they aren't working very well. He is sitting on his ass, while I am doing gazillions of calculations every second.

I even have rechargeable batteries.

We are surrounded by men in cowboy hats, leather armlets and trucker caps. Everyonelooks like they're two months early for Burning Man. There's a guy with a blue Stetson, Nike leather gloves, a handlebar mustache, dogtags around his neck, and a huge belt buckle that says "bullshit." What appears to be a holster for his six-shooter actually holds a cell phone. He has a bandanna around his neck. He is wearing sneakers, not cowboy boots.